Go to General BJ Discussion. Maya is reading a book very intently while Rachel is on the phone] Maya- Rach, will you just give it up? I WON!!! Maya- Oh stop already! Rachel- [ignores Maya][talks in a very shaky tone] Oh, wow!! Thank you so much!!!! Maya- [is confused] What, are you serious?
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Did you win? Oh god, did you seriously win?!?!
Yes I DID win!!!!! Scene 2 [Maya and Rachel arrive at the concert. Maya- Since when do you have a camera? I came prepared! Rachel- [in a loud, boisterous voice] Yeah! We gotta get up close. Let me see your tickets.
For safety reasons, you understand. Rachel- Uh, do you remember what the security guard told us? For safety reasons, you under- Maya- Yeah yeah yeah! I know!
I mean, we should try to get backstage! Rachel- [puts her hand up to her mouth and gasps] No! But how? Rachel is dressed in a black leather jacket, a Shady Brady hat, sunglasses, and leather pants] [They start walking towards the backstage entrance again] Rachel- Do you really think this will work? This plan is fullproof! Jon Bon Jovi's sushi has been poisoned with a radioactive substance. We must investigate. Step aside please, good sir. This is very routine, nothing to be worried about.
Please, for the last time- [gets distracted] Hey, you! Yeah, you over there! That water fountain is NOT a urinal! Maya- I told you!
Maya- [picking up nasal drops] And these are the same nasal drops that Jon Bon Jovi put in his nose! Rachel- Well, sorry!
Maya- Shhh! All of a sudden, someone belches] [Maya and Rachel look to each other with disgusted faces] Jon- Excuse me. Hey, Richie, can you get me a towel please? Richie- Anything you say, boss!
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This is relaxing. Richie- Sure wa-!
Richie- Yes, boss. Tico- No problem! Tico- [pops his head in the doorway] Yeah? Jon- I changed my mind. Well, you know how I like it. Tico- I live to serve! Dave, I thought you ordered it!
Rachel- [still hurting] I think he broke both my fingers! Maya [whispers] I know! We have to wait until Jon goes to the bathroom or something. Jon- Fire? Maya- Who should we call? Police Officer- Sure he is. Our hero! Would you like an autograph? In Buffalo, you spit on the sidewalk, which is against the law. In Baltimore City, you went bowling, which is against the law. And in Pittsburgh, you attempted yodeling, which is also against the law!
Jon- B-b-b-but! Police Officer- No buts! You march your cute little [Whoops! This would be the perfect opportunity to write a song. Maya- Are you crazy?!
How can you be thinking about music! What products do you use? Every night I make a natural concoction of herbs and botanicals, put it in the refrigerator, and then apply it in my hair the next morning, leaving it in for 2 hours before washing it out. Rachel- Wow!
You must tell me the ingredients! Maya- ERGH!!! Jon- Did someone pee in your cereal this morning? Maya- Nothing!
Maya- Okay, you want a piece of me? Jon- Catfight! Take these chains from me!
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Jon and Rachel- You held my heart for ransom, baby, set it free! Good thinking Rach! Jon- Oh, nah, Richie and I tasted it once. It only knocks you out for a couple of hours. And the hallucinations are really entertaining. Maya- Do I dare ask how it tasted? Rachel- Okay, so Jon can get the gel in his mouth while I get the blade and Maya keeps a lookout!
Are we all clear? Rachel- Hurry up Maya! Poor Jon is getting killed!
Jon- My wife has beat me up enough times for me to pick it up. Woman 1- I got a strand of his hair!!!!! The police are gonna find us now!
Jovi fanfiction- maya and rachel's crazy adventure!
Rachel- [cough] Eagles suck [cough] Giants rule. Obie- Suit yourself, sucker! Rachel- I wanna stay with Jon! Jon- I wanna meet Tony Sorprano!
Jon- [gasps] How dare you say that? Fight Eagles fight, score a touchdown Hit 'em low, Hit 'em high, and we'll watch our Eagles fly. Fly Eagles fly on the road to victory. Hope you guys liked it!