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My husband and i have an ordinary sex life — but that doesn’t mean it’s not hot

Physical intimacy is an essential part of any successful relationship. While there are no rules on how and how often you should be making love, if such episodes have become extremely unfulfilling to either partner, perhaps it is time to take stock of the situation. Here are a few things you should consider if the passion in your relationship has dissipated and your partner is not interested in intimacy. Different strokes for different folks Sex has been made into the subject of so much analysis, theory and discussions that it is difficult to consider it objectively.

There is too much being written and talked about how much, how often and how long couples should have sex.

So at the very outset, accept that whatever works for you both is the great and there is no reason why you should be perturbed if your best friend has run through all the positions of the Kamasutra whereas you both have been having plain vanilla. At the same time keep in mind that sometimes two separate individuals may naturally have different sex drives. Once you begin to get rid of fixed notions of what sex in a relationship should and should not be like, it will be much easier to look for and work out a solution. TIP: Download the guide to seducing women.

How to get your prudish partner to be more adventurous in bed

The physical aspect is the most obvious place to start with if you notice your partner reluctant to have active sex with you. Perhaps she is facing problems with sexual stimulation or painful penetration and wants to make the episode as short as possible. Again your partner may have an underlying medical condition or is on medication that has negatively affected his libido.

Sexual dysfunction like inability to attain an erection or a sexual orgasm can also putt a person off sex.

My husband is terrible in bed – and has been for 30 years

The solution here is to help your partner to talk about it. Here again the best way you can go about the situation is by offer your unflinching support. A vacation even for a weekend usually works wonders to revive a flagging sex life and rejuvenate a relationship.

Emotional distance Women especially can be reluctant to give their all in bed if they feel that their partners look upon them as merely a source of sexual release. Again women are often under the impression that it is only they who need to bond emotionally before they can take pleasure in sex.

However the same can be true for many men too, especially if they are on the sensitive side. If you have been emotionally distant from your partner due to pressures at work, other preoccupations or simply taking him for granted, it may have caused him to feel neglected and unloved.

The solution here is to reassure your partner of your love and devotion. Indeed bedroom boredom is one of the biggest killers of intimacy in a long term relationship like marriage.

Once a couple discovers what works fairly well for them in bed, they are likely to stick to the same routine to minimize mutual dissatisfaction. Try to think of ways to re-ignite the spark in your marriage. Acting out roles or playing adult games could be other fun ways to set the stage sizzling and make your partner only too eager to try out different things. Engage in non-sexual affection An unhappy fall-out of desire differences is that couples begin to display fewer evidence of non-sexual affection towards each other.

You on the other hand would realize and take comfort in the fact that such acts of non-sexual affection are important investment needed for a fulfilling sex life.

My husband is terrible in bed – and has been for 30 years

Get help If none of your efforts at changing the situation has worked, try and have a chat with your partner. This is especially useful if you know that your partner was different before when you both enjoyed uninhibited sex. Sit down together, without any distractions or other people being around, and have a discussion about the marriage and the lack of intimacy. Tell your beloved, in honest and upfront terms, why you feel deprived and rejected due to the lack of intimacy between the two of you.

If your partner does not want to have the discussion or nothing comes of it, it may be best to take professional help. While underlying medical causes should be treated by a physician, psychological issues like stress, mid-life crisis are best negotiated with the help of a therapist.

My husband and i have an ordinary sex life — but that doesn’t mean it’s not hot

Relationship issues like jealousy and infidelity are other causes of differing sex drives which again require the intervention of a counselor or therapist. All Rights Reserved. Error message Warning : "continue" targeting switch is equivalent to "break". Did you mean to use "continue 2"? If your Partner is a Prude in Bed. Recommended Articles. When you are Dating Someone with Erectile Dysfunction.

Intimacy intervention: my religious beliefs make my husband think i’m prude

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